Mother’s Day was yesterday and I am blessed with 3 of the most amazing daughters on the planet. I am also blessed with many, many “adopted” daughters who have enriched my life in more ways than I can count. Rhett and I didn’t set out to be great parents. We just wanted to be consistent, loving, patient and above all, led by God as we raised our girls. I’ve said many times, if ever a man was created to father daughters (and do it extremely well), it’s my awesome husband. But as wonderful as it is, it’s not easy.
I can’t count the number of times someone has asked when we’re writing a book about raising girls. It’s a huge compliment that people think we’ve done it well, but humbling too. We are not perfect parents. We made (and still make) plenty of mistakes and have had to regroup many times throughout our parenthood. We decided very early (before we ever had kids!) there were several “non-negotiables” where our children were concerned:
- Our children would know that God loves them and that Jesus died for their sins.
- Our children would be respectful of us and other adults. We’d seen too many children who talked back, sassed, and basically disrespected their parents.
- Whining was never an option. Fingernails on a chalkboard. Not happening.
- Consistency. There was no moving target when it came to discipline. There was a line. It did not move.
- Our children would be able to behave appropriately in public. No running around and causing trouble in a restaurant. We left restaurants many times when the girls would not settle down and behave.
- We would not bribe our children to behave. If you set the standard of behavior early, your life will be infinitely easier the older they get.
- We would present a united front in every situation. We would not be played one against the other.
- We told our children we loved them every day. Several times. Our love was never conditional. Ever.
- We talked to them. A lot. No subject was off limits and we never, ever laughed at them or belittled their thoughts or ideas. Dinner every night (with few exceptions) with the family was our way to stay connected with the girls.
- Discipline was swift and appropriate to the offense. There was no “wait until your father gets home”. We used the “1-2-3” method until they were old enough to be stopped with “the look”.
- We taught our girls to dream. Nothing was out of their reach. If they wanted to achieve it, we would support and encourage them until they reached their goal. Or change their minds and went in a different direction.
I have more, but I’ll leave you today with this thought: “Conspicuously absent from the Ten Commandments is any obligation of parent to child. We must suppose that God felt it unnecessary to command by law what He had ensured by love.” ~Robert Brault
Taking joy in the journey,
Lori
this joyful journey 